The 23rd United States President of Funny Valentine is a titanic, cultured nation, ruled by Funny Valentine with a fair hand, and renowned for its frequent executions, daily referendums, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 14.885 billion Americans hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The relatively small, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Philadelphia. The average income tax rate is 19.3%.

The frighteningly efficient American economy, worth a remarkable 1,920 trillion dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Retail, and Information Technology. Average income is an impressive 129,003 dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.5 times as much as the poorest.

Preschools put children down for naps with milk, cookies, and a gruesome story of vengeance, the new national mascot has to be wheeled onto the field of play, government officials sit helplessly as they are labelled 'Pompous Womples' by celebrities, and country folk are sent to obligatory boarding schools to learn how to be civilized. Crime is totally unknown. Funny Valentine's national animal is the eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Christianity.

Funny Valentine is ranked 30,331^st in the world and 120^th in Ambition for Most Developed, scoring 83.13 on the Human Development Index.