The Holy Grand Sovereign Empire of Gerburtsurg is a titanic, efficient nation, ruled by Markos Kaine with an iron fist, and notable for its compulsory military service, state-planned economy, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 23.577 billion Gerburtsurgians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Law & Order, Spirituality, and Administration also on the agenda, while Welfare and Social Policy aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Rortessal. The average income tax rate is 88.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Gerburtsurgian economy, worth a remarkable 5,963 trillion Sessolas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Information Technology. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 252,932 Sessolas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.8 times as much as the poorest.

Attempted suicide is punishable by public hanging, commuters travel in zigzags to avoid stalking accusations, schoolchildren quote interesting facts about the square of the hypotenuse, and scientists are not permitted to ask questions. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Gerburtsurg's national animal is the Silverfish, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways, and its national religion is Grissian.

Gerburtsurg is ranked 327,200^th in the world and 4^th in Rumedsia for Safest, scoring 4.37 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.