The Republic of Grand River is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by President Artur Augusto Bäcker Bettinck with a fair hand, and notable for its pith helmet sales, otherworldly petting zoo, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 2.839 billion Riograndenses hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The large, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Porto Alegre. The average income tax rate is 95.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Ragamuffins economy, worth 482 trillion pilas a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 170,097 pilas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

Things are looking up for patients accidentally prescribed erectile dysfunction medication, Party members are derided as class traitors, small children are learning a lot of new words from a teacher with Tourette Syndrome, and snooze factory is now prison lingo for rehabilitation center. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Grand River's national animal is the Criollo horse, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Roman Catholicism.

Grand River is ranked 5,216^th in the world and 6^th in Sky Haven for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 2,673.55 on the Clooney Contribution Index.