The Semi-Empire of Hamborn is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by Columb Nalim with an even hand, and notable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, frequent executions, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate population of 4.925 billion hambornians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Alkőmen-Alesia. The average income tax rate is 67.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Hambornian economy, worth 373 trillion Franc Hambordiens a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Cheese Exports, and Retail. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 75,915 Franc Hambordiens, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.8 times as much as the poorest.

Hypochondriacs demand treatment for genetic disorders they don't have, the military maintains a fierce arsenal of 'Cure Missiles', punting clubs and posh accents have been added to the national curriculum, and graffiti graces every city's streets. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Hamborn's national animal is the Polux Cat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Atheist.

Hamborn is ranked 281,704^th in the world and 3,600^th in The East Pacific for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 25.07 on the Bus Surprisal Index.