The Freistaat of Hanzestadt Danzig is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Gunter Grass with an iron fist, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, prohibition of alcohol, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 49.504 billion Hansastadt Danzigians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Danzig. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 73.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Hanzestadt Danzigian economy, worth an astonishing 10,486 trillion Guldens a year, is mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 211,829 Guldens, with the richest citizens earning 6.7 times as much as the poorest.

Men are enrolling into lady etiquette courses, the path to inner peace is paved with state-mandated punishment, shelters struggle to keep up with the endless intake of stray animals, and financial investors are noting a boom in artillery. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Hanzestadt Danzig's national animal is the Loewe, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Christian.

Hanzestadt Danzig is ranked 315,832^nd in the world and 24^th in Germany for Nicest Citizens, with 0.52 average smiles per day.