The Federal Republic of Hassyia is a large, safe nation, renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape and frequent executions. The compassionate, democratic population of 101 million Hassyians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The tiny government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Education, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 8.7%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but inefficient Hassyian economy, worth 4.17 trillion Hasnaininyans a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Basket Weaving industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Pizza Delivery, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is 41,315 Hasnaininyans, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.8 times as much as the poorest.

Seasonal hay-fever sufferers are attending government drug counselling sessions to get free doughnuts, the police force is on a recruitment drive, workers can choose whether they prefer offices that smell of pungent body odor or whale vomit, and the only women behind bars are barmaids. Crime, especially youth-related, is almost non-existent. Hassyia's national animal is the Unicorn, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Hassyia is ranked 169,589^th in the world and 15^th in The Achesonian Liberationists for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 32.39 on the Bus Surprisal Index.