The United States of Heikhaup is a titanic, orderly nation, remarkable for its infamous sell-swords, free-roaming dinosaurs, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 19.423 billion Heikhaupians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Yinichi. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 84.9%.

The all-consuming Heikhaupian economy, worth a remarkable 2,289 trillion Asses a year, is quite specialized and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Retail. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 117,882 Asses, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 460,293 per year while the poor average 20,592, a ratio of 22.4 to 1.

Critical thinking is grounds for expulsion from university, the deaf are perplexed when the weather report tells them that the wind will be "bringing some rain along the Nazi ghosts", solar death ray construction will commence as soon as it rains Asses, and the fastest growing demographic of porn viewership is twelve to seventeen. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Heikhaup's national animal is the skunk, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Heikhaup is ranked 284,031^st in the world and 4^th in Anubis for Most Cultured, scoring 55 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.