The Great Technocratic Empire of Helv is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, renowned for its public floggings, compulsory military service, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The hard-nosed population of 2.603 billion Helvians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Helvia. The average income tax rate is 89.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Helvian economy, worth 223 trillion Helvian Francs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Cheese Exports. Average income is 85,909 Helvian Francs, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Worship days have replaced sick days, prolonged government investigations are a common revenge tactic among spurned significant others, theft is considered to be okay if the crime happened a long time ago, and anti-government political posters adorn every building like wallpaper. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Helv's national animal is the Red Kite, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Helv is ranked 267,128^th in the world and 1,379^th in the Plains of Perdition for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring -5.06 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.