The Empire of Hesskin is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by Emperor Stephan Durnstein II with an iron fist, and remarkable for its fear of technology, punitive income tax rates, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 9.868 billion Hesskins are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Scottsville. The average income tax rate is 67.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Hesskinian economy, worth a remarkable 1,289 trillion Imperial Credits a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Trout Farming, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 130,695 Imperial Credits, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.8 times as much as the poorest.

Juries are mostly made up of wealthy busybodies and ex-convicts, class action lawsuits have gone up in smoke thanks to government interference, a stitch in time could see you serving nine, and the hyperwealthy are given "Congratulations! You won Capitalism" trophies. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Hesskin's national animal is the leopard, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Hesskin.

Hesskin is ranked 36,874^th in the world and 1^st in Ulster for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 2,394.69 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.