The Sexy Funland of Hetairaea is a titanic, socially progressive nation, ruled by President Gwen Matisch with a fair hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, irreverence towards religion, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 16.213 billion Hetairaeans live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The tiny, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Shangri-La. The average income tax rate is 31.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Hetairaean economy, worth a remarkable 7,025 trillion Sauces a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Retail, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 433,338 Sauces, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.1 times as much as the poorest.

Citizens select which government department gets their income tax Sauces each year, RPG fans reminisce fondly about when people thought they were evil and dangerous rather than geeky and socially inept, millions of Sauces have been thrown into a project to find the cure for Mad Succubus Disease, and it's been a banner year for local vexillology. Crime is totally unknown. Hetairaea's national animal is the Succubus, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is communal loving.

Hetairaea is ranked 2,450^th in the world and 1^st in Project Snowscape for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 8,825.86 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.