The August Gardens of Ikania is a titanic, efficient nation, ruled by the March Rider with an even hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, daily referendums, and complete lack of prisons. The compassionate, humorless population of 24.995 billion Ikanians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hazeldean. The average income tax rate is 92.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Ikanian economy, worth a remarkable 3,400 trillion acorns a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, highly specialized black market in Information Technology, Retail, Tourism, and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 136,037 acorns, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Diplomacy is a foreign concept to Ikanians, aides are afraid to ask if The March Rider wants a cup of tea or coffee, political spontaneity takes a lot of planning, and arguments about toilet seats being left up or down get surprisingly heated. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ikania's national animal is the beaver, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Marcianism.

Ikania is ranked 298,311^th in the world and 1,777^th in the Plains of Perdition for Fattest Citizens, with 4.83 Obesity Rate.