The Principality of Incense is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Angmar with a fair hand, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, parental licensing program, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 30.238 billion Ivoreans are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Amber Blood and Gold. The average income tax rate is 99.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Incensean economy, worth a remarkable 6,368 trillion Sickles a year, is highly specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 210,605 Sickles, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Old cars must undergo mandatory sensitivity training, the phrase 'spreading like wildfire' is no longer in the public lexicon, coffee-addicted citizens look forward to baristas getting their name wrong at local coffee shops, and bad punctuation has come to a full stop. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Incense's national animal is the Vixhexen, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Universal Life Church.

Incense is ranked 307,115^th in the world and 1^st in Ivory Tower for Fattest Citizens, with 1 Obesity Rate.