The United Kingdom of Ioniae is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Vasiliás Aléxios tis Gothías with an iron fist, and renowned for its keen interest in outer space, irreverence towards religion, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 1.703 billion Ioniæns are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nea Apollonia. The average income tax rate is 72.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Ioniæn economy, worth 178 trillion Dracmes a year, is led by the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Basket Weaving, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 104,740 Dracmes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

It's customary to greet the monarch with fist bumps, foreign investment has dropped to a trickle after laws were passed preventing investors from taking their earnings abroad, religious education is a new government priority, and you're never too young to learn how to lie with confidence. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ioniae's national animal is the Cerberos, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Néo Orthódoxoi.

Ioniae is ranked 25,676^th in the world and 39^th in Concord for Lowest Crime Rates, with 85.49 law-abiding acts per hour.