The Republic of Izern 69 is a colossal, cultured nation, remarkable for its national health service, ritual sacrifices, and keen interest in outer space. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 3.014 billion Izern 69ians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. The average income tax rate is 70.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Izern 69ian economy, worth 364 trillion baht a year, is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Tourism. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 120,929 baht, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The beauty of coastal towns is marred only slightly by all the closed-down storefronts, a law degree is required before telling people not to drink and drive, exiles see that the line where the sky meets the sea is just clouds and rain, and passwords to nuclear codes must now contain upper and lower case characters. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Izern 69's national animal is the unicorn, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Izern 69 is ranked 203,170^th in the world and 676^th in Izern for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 800.22 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.