The Federal Republic of Jarlborg is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by Jakob Brannvall with an even hand, and renowned for its frequent executions, ubiquitous missile silos, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate population of 6.064 billion Jarlborgians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Rikssjärna. The average income tax rate is 90.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Jarlborgian economy, worth 586 trillion Rikskronas a year, is highly specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Basket Weaving, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 96,761 Rikskronas, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

An epidemic of unpopped kernels causes movie goers to gnash their teeth, music award shows include surprise polygraph segments, private surgeons have been told to cut it out, and military equipment is being auctioned off to extend comatose centenarians' lives. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Jarlborg's national animal is the Polar bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Jarlborg is ranked 24,544^th in the world and 122^nd in the Plains of Perdition for Most Cultured, scoring 83 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.