The Republic of Kernels Freight Crew is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Supreme Exotic Commander Bongo Malachite with an even hand, and renowned for its strictly enforced bedtime, suspicion of poets, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 6.03 billion Keep From Cookin Mugs are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of pickles on order 12. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 10.8%.

The very strong Kernels Freight Crewian economy, worth 262 trillion gamakatsu smelt herring jigs a year, is quite specialized and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 43,566 gamakatsu smelt herring jigs, with the richest citizens earning 8.5 times as much as the poorest.

Public footpaths are being slowly eroded by the burgeoning number of ramblers, women earn less than half the salary of men if they can even find a job, it takes a village to catch a criminal, and the government merely sends empty platitudes whenever natural disasters strike foreign nations. Crime is a problem. Kernels Freight Crew's national animal is the Salvelinus namaycush, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Kernels Freight Crew is ranked 239,566^th in the world and 3^rd in Anti Anime Action for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring -6.32 on the Clooney Contribution Index.