The Colony of Koolia is a mammoth, orderly nation, ruled by Harald Jörgënsson with an iron fist, and remarkable for its anti-smoking policies, infamous sell-swords, and zero percent divorce rate. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 8.311 billion Koolians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Administration, Industry, and Law & Order are also considered important, while International Aid and Social Policy are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lorne. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 35.9%.

The powerhouse Koolian economy, worth 539 trillion Skjölls a year, is quite specialized and led by the Furniture Restoration industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Arms Manufacturing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is 64,865 Skjölls, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 318,299 per year while the poor average 7,565, a ratio of 42.1 to 1.

Turnstile jumpers grow up to be tax cheats, sushi is sold on the black market, travelers are subject to extensive searches if beet stains are visible on their clothing, and the nation is famous for having one of the world's largest Daneq hunting institutions. Crime is a serious problem, possibly because it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many regulations. Koolia's national animal is the Daneq, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Koolia is ranked 133,834^th in the world and 8^th in The Realm of Varangia for Highest Average Tax Rates, with 35.93 Effective Tax Rate.