The Republic of Lassiah is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Justin Christodoulou with an iron fist, and notable for its anti-smoking policies, avowedly heterosexual populace, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 4.246 billion Lassians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kelzing. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 38.2%.

The very strong Lassian economy, worth 368 trillion Lassian Dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Furniture Restoration, Book Publishing, and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 86,857 Lassian Dollars, with the richest citizens earning 9.1 times as much as the poorest.

Street food vendors are accompanied by personal fleets of garbage trucks, unemployed accountants keep double-entry ledgers of their benefit claims, calling Justin Christodoulou a tyrant is seen as the ultimate compliment, and dog breeding has been banned in accordance with recent animal experimentation laws. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lassiah's national animal is the Lassian tilapia, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Secularism.

Lassiah is ranked 313,502^nd in the world and 30^th in United States of America for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 15.42 on the Kitten Softness Rating.