The United Commonwealth of Laurel is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Protector Hannibal Errinwright with an even hand, and renowned for its daily referendums, absence of drug laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 26.975 billion Laurelans enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Asgard. The average income tax rate is 28.7%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Laurelan economy, worth a remarkable 4,852 trillion thalers a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 179,874 thalers, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Scientists earn more grant money for reproducing old experiments than trying anything new, radio shows frequently feature people denouncing religion, major cities shut down as their local sports team takes to the field every day, and group hugs break out during floor votes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Laurel's national animal is the ghost bear, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is New Avalon Catholic Church.

Laurel is ranked 288,326^th in the world and 377^th in Nordic Lands for Most Primitive, scoring -535.36 on the Scary Big Number Scale.