The Constitutional Monarchy of Lofandia is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by HM Alexander I with an even hand, and renowned for its hatred of cheese, punitive income tax rates, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, devout population of 8.941 billion Lofandians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Highdiam. The average income tax rate is 54.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Lofandian economy, worth a remarkable 1,561 trillion dollars a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Retail, and Arms Manufacturing. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 174,694 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Hospitals are cleaned with lemons and vinegar, a popular saying is "a chicken for every pot and an abortion clinic on every street", this year's hottest fashion trend is the Lese Majeste collection, and official government guidance encourages binge behaviors. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lofandia's national animal is the Brown bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Christianity.

Lofandia is ranked 130,909^th in the world and 299^th in United Kingdom for Safest, scoring 68.99 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.