The Republic of M4l1c3 is a mammoth, safe nation, notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, restrictive gun laws, and suspicion of poets. The democratic population of 9.685 billion M4l1c3ians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The large, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Welfare. The average income tax rate is 38.1%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but underdeveloped M4l1c3ian economy, worth 256 trillion rubledollars a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Basket Weaving, Automobile Manufacturing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 26,491 rubledollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The country's famous rainforests are being bulldozed by the mining industry, the government awards prizes to television shows featuring stereotype-breaking minority roles, it is illegal to make racist remarks in public, and the nation is known abroad for fast food and nothing else. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. M4l1c3's national animal is the hawk, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

M4l1c3 is ranked 85,467^th in the world and 1^st in Euro for Largest Black Market, with 3.61 trillion Standard Monetary Units.