The United Holy States of Malchata is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Supreme Authority Michael with an even hand, and remarkable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, absence of drug laws, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, hard-working, devout population of 1.993 billion Malchatians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and look forward to their next free and open election, to be held on an as-yet unannounced date.

The medium-sized government prioritizes Administration, with Education, Defense, and Spirituality also on the agenda, while International Aid receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Auriville. The average income tax rate is 52.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Malchatan economy, worth 138 trillion zrugots a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Cheese Exports. Average income is 69,464 zrugots, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

When shaking hands with foreign leaders Supreme Authority Michael wears an armoured gauntlet, Big Beef has a steak in national politics, the government pours millions of zrugots into rehabilitation programs annually, and roadside walls are being built and mother nature is paying for it. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Malchata's national animal is the goose, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Beefism.

Malchata is ranked 275,860^th in the world and 76^th in kingdom of Greater Esteriae for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring -7.39 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.