The Dwarven Keep of Malcholm is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Boros Battleheart with an even hand, and notable for its smutty television, compulsory military service, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, democratic, humorless population of 18.044 billion Malcholmians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Holmsdeep. The average income tax rate is 74.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Malcholmian economy, worth a remarkable 2,054 trillion Skölds a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 113,842 Skölds, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Lending money has become a major liability, 10-year-olds who struggle with integrating by parts are considered slow learners, doctors prescribe videos of political debates to patients with insomnia, and the government recently donated a surfboard to an impoverished family in a landlocked region. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Malcholm's national animal is the Duergar, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Malcholm is ranked 28,745^th in the world and 2^nd in The Mystical Alliance for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 6,550.28 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.