The Whisky Empire of Martoosh is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by The Holy Bartender with an even hand, and remarkable for its frequent executions, daily referendums, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cheerful population of 32.807 billion Martooshians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small government is effectively ruled by the Department of Education, with Public Transport, Defense, and Environment also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Social Policy are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Temple of the Goddess Santori. The average income tax rate is 7.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Martooshian economy, worth a remarkable 5,314 trillion wee drams a year, is quite specialized and mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Basket Weaving, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is an impressive 161,994 wee drams, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.5 times as much as the poorest.

Some say that The Holy Bartender can't handle the truth but can handle truth-seekers, museum visitors often bring lemons and black lights, animated characters are allowed to stab each other but not hold hands, and comatose jurors are the defense's favorite. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Martoosh's national animal is the barovian tiger, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Martoosh is ranked 68^th in the world and 1^st in The Vast for Largest Publishing Industry, scoring 77,802.21 on the Bella Potter Productivity e-Index.