The Cañoneros of Mazatlan FC is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Facundo Almada with a fair hand, and notable for its soft-spoken computers, national health service, and pith helmet sales. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 2.037 billion cañoneros enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The medium-sized, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Estadio El Encanto. The average income tax rate is 68.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient cañonero economy, worth 263 trillion peso mexicanoes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Retail, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 129,212 peso mexicanoes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Religious leaders order congregants to love any neighbour who is just like themselves, the nation's new Mylab space station is notorious for being the loneliest place above the planet, no one cares when it's your birthday, and missionaries learn the hard way that their piercing spiritual insights are no match for arrows. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Mazatlan FC's national animal is the kraken, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is catolicismo.

Mazatlan FC is ranked 15,541^st in the world and 13^th in Puppet Storage for Bongos for Safest, scoring 115.64 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.