The Federation of Melendave is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Lord Olivey with an even hand, and notable for its smutty television, ban on automobiles, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, hard-working, devout population of 3.846 billion Melendavers have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Averia. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 38.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Melendaver economy, worth 532 trillion Quarters a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Trout Farming, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 138,519 Quarters, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 714,674 per year while the poor average 14,625, a ratio of 48.9 to 1.

A newly discovered small mammal's name translates into Melendaver as 'your finger, you fool', citizens who leave the nation for work are instantly charged with treason, urban entrepreneurs are busy introducing cockroaches into restaurant kitchens, and troop transports blacken the sky as the military commences Operation Desert Ocean. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Melendave's national animal is the Shark, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Christianity.

Melendave is ranked 11,162^nd in the world and 1^st in Here Lies Squidwards Hopes and Dreams for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 4,316.86 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.