The Fortunate Land of Naelmon is a titanic, orderly nation, ruled by Secretary General Jimmy Isw with an iron fist, and renowned for its ban on automobiles, rampant corporate plagiarism, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 20.366 billion Naelmonians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Law & Order, although Education, Industry, and Defense are also considered important, while Spirituality receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Chakyk. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 75.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Naelmonian economy, worth a remarkable 1,994 trillion Leklois a year, is highly specialized and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Tourism. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 97,939 Leklois, with the richest citizens earning 9.7 times as much as the poorest.

Treaties are taken to be mere rules of thumb, political debates are all but a distant memory, the inner circle of Secretary General Jimmy Isw is looking more and more like a pink triangle, and the government's official stance on scientific inquiry is 'there's no question so big that it can't be ignored'. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Naelmon's national animal is the sturgeon, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Naelmon is ranked 310,705^th in the world and 66^th in Sphere of Conservative Republics for Safest, scoring 10.22 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.