The Republic of Noob1 is a colossal, safe nation, notable for its ban on automobiles, state-planned economy, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate population of 3.24 billion Noob1ians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The large, moralistic, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 69.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Noob1ian economy, worth 238 trillion Noobs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Arms Manufacturing, and Basket Weaving. Average income is 73,577 Noobs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

An extra hand on the leg will give a horse-and-a-half of lead in a hundred jiffies on seven furlongs, every day has been a surprise since weather reporters turned to consulting ancient totems for their seven-day forecasts, a faint smell of body odour can be detected at several miles' distance from the National Science Park, and the "boy who cried wolf" policy makes sick people reluctant to call an ambulance. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Noob1's national animal is the Noob, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Noob1 is ranked 44,731^st in the world and 3^rd in Noob for Smartest Citizens, with 46.38 quips per hour.