The Theocracy of North Cruor is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Lord Cruor with an iron fist, and renowned for its smutty television, unlimited-speed roads, and parental licensing program. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 1.505 billion North Cruorians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sanguis. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 77.7%.

The frighteningly efficient North Cruorian economy, worth 215 trillion Litrus a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 143,408 Litrus, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 446,927 per year while the poor average 35,356, a ratio of 12.6 to 1.

Religious organizations are being forced to leave the country or pay income taxes like everybody else, lobbyists are trying to convince government to recategorize most natural disasters as "non-critical naturogenic inconveniences", prankster scientists legally change their names to silly pseudonyms before major discoveries, and the military perceives nations hit by natural disasters as "easy pickings". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. North Cruor's national animal is the Raven, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Blood Magic.

North Cruor is ranked 36,983^rd in the world and 3^rd in Aeterna Regnum for Most Cultured, scoring 76 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.