The Bad Bad Hats of Nothing Gets Me High is a mammoth, efficient nation, remarkable for its teetotalling pirates, keen interest in outer space, and national health service. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 9.159 billion Nothing Gets Me Highians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 66.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Nothing Gets Me Highian economy, worth a remarkable 1,412 trillion bad bad hats a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 154,252 bad bad hats, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 634,393 per year while the poor average 24,728, a ratio of 25.7 to 1.

People faint regularly as they get stuck with compulsory vaccinations, riot police are stationed around paintings of violent protestors, flatulent people are left to die of cancer at the end of hospital waiting lists, and scientists who publish a non-reproducible result are tarred and feathered. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Nothing Gets Me High's national animal is the hat, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Nothing Gets Me High is ranked 29,397^th in the world and 1^st in Terra Pacifica for Lowest Crime Rates, with 87.69 law-abiding acts per hour.