The Old Crotchty Guy of Olde Delaware is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by The Governor with an even hand, and remarkable for its smutty television, unlimited-speed roads, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, humorless population of 34.729 billion Olde Delawareans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Olde Delaware City. The average income tax rate is 98.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Olde Delawarean economy, worth a remarkable 8,085 trillion Deltas a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 232,827 Deltas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Scientists take credit every time it rains in Britannia, museums claim to have displayed famous artwork before it was cool, diplomats miss flights while wandering Olde Delaware City Airport's endless art maze, and stranded mountaineers can watch livestreamed footage of their rescues. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Olde Delaware's national animal is the Owl, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Olde Delaware is ranked 2,606^th in the world and 2^nd in Britannia for Most Cultured, scoring 230 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.