The Puzzle Game of P0rtal is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Valve with a fair hand, and remarkable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, zero percent divorce rate, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 3.078 billion P0rtalians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The medium-sized, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of 400. The average income tax rate is 35.6%.

The thriving P0rtalian economy, worth 189 trillion 10 October 2007s a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Furniture Restoration, Basket Weaving, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 61,705 10 October 2007s, with the richest citizens earning 5.1 times as much as the poorest.

Sick P0rtalians are hair today and gone tomorrow, the request to "give us our daily bread" can only be fulfilled six days out of seven, political visitors are forced to stop ten paces from Valve's throne, and the nation has an international reputation for compassion. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. P0rtal's national animal is the Valve, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

P0rtal is ranked 279,989^th in the world and 79^th in Steam for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 36.69 on the Kitten Softness Rating.