The Römisch-Germanisch Reich of Patriums is a mammoth, cultured nation, ruled by Kaiser-Augustus Erick V with an iron fist, and notable for its aversion to nipples, avowedly heterosexual populace, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 8.156 billion Patriumians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Industry, Law & Order, and Education also on the agenda, while International Aid is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Roma. The average income tax rate is 86.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Patriumen economy, worth a remarkable 2,385 trillion Denarian Marks a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 292,518 Denarian Marks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Billions of Denarian Marks are being blown on orbital weapons development, social media sites prompt users to send birthday greetings to unresponsive nonagenarians, the price of takeaway food quadruples after 6pm, and corporations cut costs by taking away safety-features on their products. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Patriums's national animal is the Falcon, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Christianity.

Patriums is ranked 326,143^rd in the world and 7^th in The Order of Corinth for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring -13.39 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.