The Eternal Assurance of Phaphonies is a mammoth, socially progressive nation, ruled by Francisco Baltazar with a fair hand, and renowned for its rampant corporate plagiarism, daily referendums, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic population of 6.197 billion Sagen are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Iloilo. The average income tax rate is 80.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Sagan economy, worth 814 trillion Tabs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 131,370 Tabs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Fraternities are rejoicing at government-subsidized partying, couples are discouraged from marrying until they can rank their partner on a scale of one to ten, the nation's politicians are known more for the internet memes they spawn than any of their accomplishments, and Francisco Baltazar's new door-knocking campaign has the sweet taste of success. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Phaphonies's national animal is the Jaguarundi, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is New Sincerity.

Phaphonies is ranked 16,173^rd in the world and 6^th in The Embassy for Largest Publishing Industry, scoring 8,858.48 on the Bella Potter Productivity e-Index.