The United Socialist Turtles of Samariki is a colossal, safe nation, notable for its ban on automobiles, national health service, and ritual sacrifices. The compassionate population of 3.721 billion Samarikians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Samarkai. The average income tax rate is 83.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Samarikian economy, worth 315 trillion Social Security Numbers a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Cheese Exports, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is 84,831 Social Security Numbers, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Political talk shows often have children as guests whenever they need commentary on world religions, when their backs are against the walls Samarikians look out for gay men, excessive wheelchair ramps on government buildings have been compared to theme park attractions, and "Mad Max: Returning Again to Barrydrome" is this year's unexpected summer blockbuster. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Samariki's national animal is the Turtle, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Atheistic Turtleism.

Samariki is ranked 74,384^th in the world and 212^th in The Communist Bloc for Most Advanced Law Enforcement, scoring 3,826.79 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.