The People's Republic of Santa Clara County is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by The County Supervisors with an even hand, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, smutty television, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 13.075 billion Santa Clara Countyians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small, corrupt government prioritizes Education, although Industry, Defense, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Spirituality and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of San Jose. The average income tax rate is 66.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Santa Clara Countyian economy, worth a remarkable 2,542 trillion dollars a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Retail, and Arms Manufacturing. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 194,483 dollars, with the richest citizens earning 5.3 times as much as the poorest.

Police regularly arrest families playing Monopoly, the entire entry for Santa Clara County in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the World reads 'mostly harmless', what goes down must come up, and trails to natural wonders are littered with trash from reality film crews. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Santa Clara County's national animal is the eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is The Tech Industry.

Santa Clara County is ranked 283,375^th in the world and 4^th in Santa Clara County for Most Primitive, scoring -403.63 on the Scary Big Number Scale.