The Empire of Sarthaleo-Dontkowium is a colossal, orderly nation, renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, ubiquitous missile silos, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 6.856 billion Sarthaleo-Dontknowiumites are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Spirituality, and Law & Order. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 15.2%.

The very strong Sarthaleo-Dontkowiumite economy, worth 481 trillion Skyrim copies a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Arms Manufacturing, and Automobile Manufacturing. Average income is 70,184 Skyrim copies, with the richest citizens earning 8.8 times as much as the poorest.

Jennifer Government is banned, governments opposing Sarthaleo-Dontkowium are beset by rebels, all restaurants close before dinner time, and the nation is committed to nuclear rearmament. Crime, especially youth-related, is well under control, thanks to a capable police force. Sarthaleo-Dontkowium's national animal is the Todd Howard, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Sarthaleo-Dontkowium is ranked 135,693^rd in the world and 28^th in Noneuropean Union for Most Primitive, scoring -45 on the Scary Big Number Scale.