The Patroonship of Saugerties is a colossal, efficient nation, notable for its enslaved workforce, state-planned economy, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, devout population of 2.829 billion Saugertiesians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The large, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Saugerties. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 75.3%.

The powerhouse Saugertiesian economy, worth 297 trillion Van Burens a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Trout Farming, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an impressive 104,917 Van Burens, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 341,280 per year while the poor average 24,301, a ratio of 14.0 to 1.

Beating enemies to death with a baseball bat is legal if done within nine innings, seven-year-olds debate for weeks on the merits of the Oxford comma, it is illegal to brush crumbs off your clothing outdoors, and the combined alert sound of a nation simultaneously receiving a text message is a common cause of hearing damage. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Saugerties's national animal is the Beaver, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Saugerties is ranked 178,754^th in the world and 8^th in Upstate for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 1,374.07 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.