The Second Best Colony of Second Best Puppet 57 is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Noah with an iron fist, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, frequent executions, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.795 billion Second Best Puppet 57ians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Administration, and Law & Order. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 86.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Second Best Puppet 57ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,220 trillion cards a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Retail, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 179,660 cards, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 508,573 per year while the poor average 50,749, a ratio of 10.0 to 1.

Second Best Puppet 57ian TV is considered cruel and unusual punishment in other countries, the thin blue line is composed of picketing police officers demanding better pensions, Second Best Puppet 57ian farm salmon are known for being both horribly diseased and remarkably acrobatic, and the inside lane of every highway is for parked vehicles only. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Second Best Puppet 57's national animal is the legendary, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Second Best Puppet 57 is ranked 259,782^nd in the world and 2,035^th in Two for Most Primitive, scoring -188.06 on the Scary Big Number Scale.