The Federation of Septentrica is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by Felix Xuantonius with an even hand, and remarkable for its anti-smoking policies, ubiquitous missile silos, and aversion to nipples. The compassionate population of 3.691 billion Septentricans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Aeternitas. The average income tax rate is 74.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Septentrican economy, worth 507 trillion Septentrican Aumarks a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 137,387 Septentrican Aumarks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Internet searches for the inventor of the three-wheeled steam-powered Septentrican weed picker are way up, preservative manufacturers are told to put a lid on it, lovesick people are told 'it's not them, it's you', and even the nation's brussel sprouts are delicious and nutritious. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Septentrica's national animal is the Dove, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Septentrica is ranked 265,255^th in the world and 2^nd in Multiuniversal Union for Highest Drug Use, scoring 42.58 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.