The Jumhūriyya of Shafii Somalia is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by 'Umar Warsame with an even hand, and renowned for its infamous sell-swords, complete lack of prisons, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 8.097 billion Somalis are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The large, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Muqdisho. The average income tax rate is 90.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Somalian economy, worth a remarkable 1,590 trillion shillins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 196,442 shillins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

EpiPen sales have skyrocketed, the "war on terror" doesn't seem to be making Somalis any less frightened, travelers are subject to extensive searches if beet stains are visible on their clothing, and small children are learning a lot of new words from a teacher with Tourette Syndrome. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Shafii Somalia's national animal is the cheetah, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Sunni Islam.

Shafii Somalia is ranked 9,034^th in the world and 12^th in Pecan Sandies for Most Corrupt Governments, with 164.03 kickbacks per hour.