The United States of Simonation is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Ben Simon with an even hand, and remarkable for its smutty television, enslaved workforce, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 41.377 billion Simonis have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt morass — juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Washington DC. The average income tax rate is 96.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Simoni economy, worth a remarkable 4,973 trillion United States dollars a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 120,202 United States dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The television adaptation of Jennifer Government is the most popular program in the nation, commuters travel in zigzags to avoid stalking accusations, more sidewalk is dedicated to animals than people, and the nation's declaring that sharing nukes is caring. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Simonation's national animal is the bald eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Simonation is ranked 287,141^st in the world and 22^nd in Bigtopia for Nicest Citizens, with 0.26 average smiles per day.