The Alarmed Legate of Sparka is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Empress Daciana II with an iron fist, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, vat-grown people, and zero percent divorce rate. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 18.701 billion Sparkans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Wolfsbourg. The average income tax rate is 80.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The very strong Sparkan economy, worth a remarkable 2,569 trillion Spareks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Retail. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 137,391 Spareks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

The combined alert sound of a nation simultaneously receiving a text message is a common cause of hearing damage, EULAs remind customers that "Private Mode" is a browser setting rather than a promise, a mushroom a day keeps the sadness away, and claiming to have performed the Heimlich Maneuver is a popular defense for assault charges. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Sparka's national animal is the Wolf, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Sparkan Orthodox.

Sparka is ranked 131,745^th in the world and 63^rd in Magna Aurea for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring 1,307.92 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.