The Republic of St Kilda FC is a colossal, orderly nation, remarkable for its ubiquitous missile silos, restrictive gun laws, and suspicion of poets. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 4.016 billion St Kilda FCians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, moralistic government prioritizes Law & Order, with Industry, Welfare, and Education also on the agenda, while Environment isn't funded at all. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 26.1%.

The strong St Kilda FCian economy, worth 210 trillion Dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Furniture Restoration industry, with major contributions from Door-to-door Insurance Sales, Woodchip Exports, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 52,382 Dollars, with the richest citizens earning 7.5 times as much as the poorest.

Throwing garbage out of your house's front window makes it legally someone else's problem, it is cheaper to die in the wilderness than to survive, tampons are used as cheap fishing bobbers, and consumption of cat memes has skyrocketed. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. St Kilda FC's national animal is the saints me guess, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

St Kilda FC is ranked 270,750^th in the world and 46^th in AFL for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring zero on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.