The Empire of Steak1 is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by John with an iron fist, and renowned for its frequent executions, pith helmet sales, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, cynical population of 2.553 billion Steak1ians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Canada. The average income tax rate is 75.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but inefficient Steak1ian economy, worth 139 trillion Boneses a year, is dominated by the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Tourism, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 54,601 Boneses, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

An extra hand on the leg will give a horse-and-a-half of lead in a hundred jiffies on seven furlongs, government theft from poor artists to give to rich allies has been dubbed the "reverse Robin Hood" policy, youth rights demonstrations often end in vicious snowball fights, and the government maintains a Department of Skulduggery. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Steak1's national animal is the Cora, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Teslacoilism.

Steak1 is ranked 130,896^th in the world and 53^rd in Sparkalia for Most Developed, scoring 57.66 on the Human Development Index.