The Constitutional Monarchy of Stir Crashes is a colossal, safe nation, renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, frequent executions, and state-planned economy. The quiet, industrious population of 4.114 billion Stir Crashesians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Defense, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 41.9%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but sluggish Stir Crashesian economy, worth 98.2 trillion Delta Eagles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient black market in Uranium Mining, Automobile Manufacturing, Pizza Delivery, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 23,872 Delta Eagles, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

All industry is owned and run by the government, doctors prescribe medicines but they rarely dispense hope or compassion, litter collection has replaced fast food as the most popular after-school job, and teachers regularly paddle unruly students. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Stir Crashes's national animal is the Kitsune, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Stir Crashes is ranked 127,303^rd in the world and 1^st in Chronicles for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 43 on the Kitten Softness Rating.