The Intelligence of Swalland is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by The All Powerful and Omnipresent Swall with an even hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, national health service, and unlimited-speed roads. The compassionate population of 14.498 billion Swallandians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Swallandia. The average income tax rate is 96.0%.

The all-consuming Swallandian economy, worth a remarkable 1,709 trillion Querts a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is mostly comprised of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 117,913 Querts, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Small children are learning a lot of new words from a teacher with Tourette Syndrome, the news is showing footage of The All Powerful and Omnipresent Swall bullying an old man to the point of tears, literature classes frequently go on field trips to rock concerts, and old dogs don't have to learn new tricks but they have to prove they haven't forgotten old ones. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Swalland's national animal is the Hog, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Swalland is ranked 14,675^th in the world and 8^th in The DankLeft Commune for Highest Food Quality, scoring 136.44 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.