The Free Land of Swurtland is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Swurtle with an even hand, and notable for its ubiquitous missile silos, irreverence towards religion, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cheerful population of 1.39 billion Swurtlandics enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Swurting. The average income tax rate is 90.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Swurtlandic economy, worth 189 trillion bitcoins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 135,989 bitcoins, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Nobody is allowed to stop the local daycare from reading Nietzsche to pre-schoolers, exorbitant spending on icebreakers breaks the ice at every budget meeting, left-wing militias train children how to properly burn down banks, and it is illegal for a parent to tell a child to stop eating their boogers. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Swurtland's national animal is the turtle, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Swurtle turtrles.

Swurtland is ranked 189,399^th in the world and 5^th in Games Hub for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 14.39 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.