The Empire of Taint is a colossal, cultured nation, renowned for its parental licensing program, ubiquitous missile silos, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 4.238 billion Taintians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 59.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Taintian economy, worth 418 trillion Duckcoins a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 98,762 Duckcoins, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 328,173 per year while the poor average 22,165, a ratio of 14.8 to 1.

Town welcome signs list corporate sponsors, T-SPAN viewership drops as MPs act their age, it's not only teenagers who mess around with fake IDs, and hordes of unemployed lumberjacks have resorted to cutting down utility poles to satisfy their cravings. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Taint's national animal is the Duck, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Taint is ranked 261,717^th in the world and 1,090^th in Artificial Solar System for Safest, scoring 23.97 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.