The Free Earth and Soil of Tearn is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Oh Great Leader with an even hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, punitive income tax rates, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, devout population of 2.463 billion Tearnians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, socially-minded government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Al Finé. The average income tax rate is 83.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Tearnian economy, worth 128 trillion Stagpias a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector is solely comprised of the Book Publishing industry. Average income is 52,069 Stagpias, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Oh Great Leader's new door-knocking campaign has the sweet taste of success, citizens are encouraged to show displeasure with politicians by poking them with sharp metal sticks, cutting remarks are the limit of Oh Great Leader's violent tendencies, and the new airport at Mr. Giles' farm is panicking his sheep. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tearn's national animal is the Racoon, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Cindiism.

Tearn is ranked 12,314^th in the world and 3^rd in Moonveil for Most Cultured, scoring 105 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.